The Apology Tour

Sometimes it feels like I've been having the same conversations forever. Getting my kids to apologize to each other is one of them. Will there come a day when any of them might actually say they're sorry and mean it?

Mom's sibling fantasy apology...maybe someday in the future? Nah, probably not!

Here's one of our real life, non-picture perfect exchanges that happened on the way to the orthodontist.

Son:  Can I get braces on the inside of my teeth?
Me:  No, you're just going to get regular braces. 
Son:  Why? Who are the other ones for then?
Me:  They're more for adults or maybe kids that are on TV and their braces can't show.
Son:  Awe...why can't I be on TV?

Of course, this is an opportunity that cannot be missed. I mean, so what if it's a conversation between just us and no one else has contributed anything before now, my daughter must pipe up from the back seat, "Maybe because you don't have talent!" in a sarcastic voice. And so it begins...

Son:  That's not fair. {Words every mother dreads.} If I said that to her, I'd get in trouble, but she says stuff like that to me and doesn't get in trouble because I don't care. {Really, do you really not care? Because it certainly sounds like you care.}

I debate ignoring this and just gripping the steering wheel tighter fantasizing about a happy family vs. giving into mother guilt and attempting to drill some civility into their heads before they leave home. Oh how much longer until school starts again????

Mom:  He's right, apologize to your brother.

Silence from the backseat.

Mom:  Tell him you're sorry.
Daughter:  Sorry.
Mom:  I can't hear that, say it the right way. 
Daughter:  I'm sorry. {This could not be said with a less sorry tone of voice.}

Okay, now I'm moving beyond annoyed into "Why in the world can she not just say she's sorry?!?" territory. Now it's not enough to just say "I'm sorry". Now I need to make a point. 

Mom:  Say I'm sorry for being rude to you, will you forgive me? {Who really talks like that, I have no idea. But it sounds humble and sincere and the girl obviously needs some humbling!}

Daughter:  I'm sorry for being rude, will you forgive me? {Again, said with the least amount of sincerity possible.}

Now son is silent.

Mom:  What do you say to your sister now?  {Seriously, do I have to carry the whole conversation by myself?!?}
Son:  Okay...then not so secretly looks back at her and mouths "no."
Daughter:  I'm not sorry, either.

I give up, turn up the radio louder and pretend I didn't see it. Because what else is a mom supposed to do? And I know this scenario will repeat itself, probably in about five minutes! :)

How about you? What do you find yourself saying over and over?



30 comments:

  1. Ha! Hilarious. Although I feel your pain. What do I find myself saying over and over again?!

    "It's important to be thankful for what you have."

    My oldest daughter skips from one thing to the next. We will be submerged in an exciting joyful moment and she'll all of sudden be eager to know, what are we doing next. I can't help but think... "Isn't this enough? Shouldn't you be grateful for this?!"

    So I utter the words... "It's important to be thankful for what you have."

    I'm sure those words hold no meaning anymore.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

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    1. Great words to tell your daughter! I often feel like my kids are rushing through to get to the next thing, too!

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  2. Aww, good luck! I remember my brother & I being like this when we were little too. They'll grow out of it I promise. Until then just breathe. Happy Thursday!

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    1. Thanks, Leslie! Good to know you aren't still driving your mother nuts in the car! :)

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  3. I love visiting your site first thing in the morning . . . because I always leave with a smile :0)
    Oh, the notorious words/phrases "It's not fair" and "I'm sorry." I must hear them upwards of 20 times a day having 3 little ones.
    I'm teaching them to say "I'm sorry. What can I do to help?"
    It's so interesting how the follow up question helps so much to de-escalate any wrong-doing. I say it now . . . and it works like a charm :0)
    Thanks for sharing with us!
    I hope you're having a great week,
    Suzanne

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    1. I like that, "I'm sorry. What can I do to help?". I need some new lines that will catch them off guard. I don't think they hear me talking anymore! :)

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  4. I think our kids are so mean to each other because they love each other so much (that's what I tell myself anyway :). I can SO relate to this post.

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    1. Haha, they do say there's a fine line between love and hate, so maybe you're right!

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  5. I love your sense of humor and your ability to show a normal family exchange with such clarity that I felt I was in the car with you. I'm glad I found your blog, and thanks for stopping by mine.

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  6. Oh my gosh I'm laughing so hard right now. Ohhhhhhh my. Right now my six year old is on the "you're mean" kick. He'll YELL rudely to his little brother, "Give me that toy!" and when the brother says no he responds with, "YOU'RE MEAN!" Hmmmm. . .really JJ? Cam's the one who's being mean? And no matter how many times I explain that he's the one who actually sounds rude and terrible, he doesn't get it. Or doesn't care. So yeah, I usually just turn the radio up. I'm so glad there's so much more fun to look forward too lol.

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    1. That's funny, Leilani! Kids are hard to reason with sometimes. Yay for radios! :)

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  7. Oh I just love this....Your blog always give me a glimpse of what I have to look forward to. :)

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    1. Thanks! You'll be there before you know it, Chelsea! :)

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  8. Oh my goodness, this one truly made me laugh out loud. From the first picture, to the last line, it's like you're living my life. I'm so glad we're not the only family who has these car-ride conversations!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! I think we have about the same age kids, so I'm sure our car rides sound very similar! :)

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  9. I caught the turn the radio up louder bit, it seems like fights always brew the biggest in the car in my family. Whenever this happens in our family I am always reminded of a comic I saw once talking about sibling car fights and how he has now become the Dad who says, "Unless you apologize right now to your brother I am going to come back there and make you really sorry"!

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    1. I think I would have really enjoyed that comic! That's a great line!

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  10. LOL! I can so relate Marie. I laughed. Should I have? Probably not because I highly doubt you were at the time, but this is so funny. I run these scenarios every day. Then there's the guilt one, "I'm not going to make you to apologize but I think you know what you should do." Silence, waiting, and do they apologize...no. What can I do after that? Not much since I just told them I'm not going to make them. All too often I turn on the mom ears and ignore the drama. Perhaps I should try the radio next time.

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    1. Haha! I hate it when trying to guilt them into something doesn't work. I know we will all keep trying though! :)

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  11. I so very much relate to this! We do this dance ALL the time! And how often the words are said and not meant! But what do we do? I feel like it's a little like learning the liturgy, or memorizing scripture... when they are tiny, it's about getting the words into their heads and waiting for them to seep down into their hearts!

    I use the radio ALL the time!

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    1. It is a lot like that and I have to think it's somehow going to stay in there! Until then, there's always the radio! :)

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  12. The life of a parent! We are always there to teach them the right and wrong and hope that they mean it eventually!

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  13. Everyday in our house we have a similar conversation! I've started making them say something about their sibling that they like each time they are mean. They are being a lot kinder to each other, nowhere near perfect, but better. #magicmoments

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  14. Oh that made me giggle - bless them! I think the ones I come out with the most are the "that isn't kind. In this family we're kind to people." but it's even better when I come across my 3 year old telling the 1 year old that she isn't being respectful to people or things - monkey see, monkey do!

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  15. This made me laugh! My son has been asking for a brother or sister lately. Although I wanted more (medical problem), this is a good reality check, lol. Thanks for sharing at Turn It Up Tuesday!

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  16. hahah I am secretly laughing only because I am sure this will be me so soon if not already. Buba refuses to tell his sister sorry. At 3 years old and MM can't say it back at 1 he doesn't think he should have to. I always hear No Missy Moo say sorry first. She can't talk. Say sorry sissy! shouting at her now. Then she cries and it continues. So not too far off. Glad I am not the only one that turns the radio louder hehehe Tactics. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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  17. You made me smile...thank you...and thanks for sharing with the Thursday Blog Hop!

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  18. Too funny and I'm still laughing. Stopping by from Turn It Up Tuesday and so glad I did, lol.

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Thanks for taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you!