Can-Do Spirit

We had a family gathering last night to celebrate my youngest son's birthday. The best thing about getting everyone together is the reminiscing that goes on. I love it when my kids get to hear their grandparents and aunts and uncles tell stories from the past.

Looking at my parents now, you'd never know their struggles. You wouldn't know how hard they worked to support four kids all born within five years while in their early 20's. I bet my dad couldn't envision himself comfortably retired during those days of literally having a few dollars in his wallet until payday.

Obviously picture quality has improved over the years!

There are some stories from my childhood that have shaped me. I don't remember every detail, but certain things stick out in my mind. 

When I was five, my dad had been out of work for a few months and couldn't find anything. So we moved. We moved from a little town in Western New York to California. They packed us all up and drove an old car six days across the country. I remember very little about that trip except the memories sparked by a few touristy pictures they took along the way. That and squishing hard against the window to avoid my dad's arm reaching into the backseat when my brothers and I had been fighting too long. Two years later, my dad decided he didn't like living in California and we all moved back!

My brother and I enjoying the sights on our cross country trip!

We were once on a trip in Vermont when our car broke down. I remember it being very cold and we stayed in a motel for almost a week. Again, my parents had very little money and the six of us walked two miles to check on the status of our old station wagon. I remember we had just a tiny bit of toothpaste and my mom squeezing it out long past time the point where I would toss the tube unthinkingly in the trash today. The motel owners gave us all free breakfast one morning. At the end of the week, my dad had to sign the title of the car over to the mechanic in order to pay for the repairs and left a post dated check for the motel owners to pay for our room. My parents had finally given in and called my mom's aunt and she paid for them to rent a car to get home. 

We laugh when my dad tells the story of how he scraped together some money to buy another vehicle and told the guy on the lot to show him everything he had under $600. He ended up buying an old beater that hadn't moved in three years. My brother said it looked like an animal had chewed out the middle of the back seat. The windshield was cracked, the battery was dead, and it had four flat tires. My dad said if the guy would replace the windshield and slap a NYS inspection sticker on it, he'd take it! He came home and fixed everything he could and we drove it until it died. 

My mom tells many stories of how she scraped and sacrificed over the years. I've always admired how she went to night school driving an hour and a half each way to get her master's. I don't remember how many semesters it took, but it was long enough to teach me that I never wanted to have to do that. For as long as I can remember, she's always had the attitude of you do what you have to do and you work with what you have. When I was in third grade she took us four kids three days and three nights across country on a Greyhound bus to visit her parents. The only food she had was what she had packed in a brown grocery bag and a little bit of money. It must have been bad because I remember a fellow traveler buying us all breakfast one morning. My grandmother always said she was so relieved when we got there and was sad that my mom looked like she had lost ten pounds on the way!

When it came to home improvement, decorating, fixing cars, landscaping, raising animals, and more things than I can name right now, my parents were always teaching themselves or picking up new skills any way they could. Even today, my dad will almost never pay for someone to do something he can do himself. 

If I could sum up the lessons I've learned from them, I'd have to use the often quoted, where there's a will there's a way. 

I don't know what hardship stories will stick out in my kids' minds about their childhood, but I hope they have some. I hope they remember times where things didn't come easy and they saw us work hard and do without to reach a bigger goal. I hope they realize that struggling for a little while doesn't mean you'll struggle forever and there's plenty to be learned and even fondly remembered in those trying times.

No Greater Joy

This morning I woke up and saw this on my daughter's Instagram.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

This verse is so true. More than happiness or success, fame or fortune, more than even their very health, I desire to see my children follow Jesus. 

Parenting a real live human quickly brings you to your knees. I never realized how flawed and sinful I was until I felt the responsibility to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

What?!? God, I can't do this. Look at how I've failed You here and here and over here. What kind of an example can I be? Lord, please pick up the pieces and bring them to a saving knowledge of You. 

Steve and I have done what we know to do. We've taken them to church, Vacation Bible School, Awana, and youth camp. We've stopped and started family devotions more times than I'd like to admit over the years. We've blown it in big and small ways and asked their forgiveness. We've tried to explain why we do certain things and don't do other things from a Christian perspective. And we've prayed. Both with them and by ourselves, we pray that they will grow up to love and serve Jesus.

Today I give God the glory, great things He has done. May He continue to move and work in the lives of all of my children and may they each grow up to love and serve Him. 

Why I Don't Want School to Start

Any of you who know me in real life are probably shocked to read the title of this post. Marie doesn't want school to start? That doesn't sound like her at all!

And it's true, that doesn't sound like me. I'm usually counting the minutes until the first bell by this time each summer! But this year I'm not quite ready to see summer end. Oh, I'm definitely ready to hear less bickering, but I'm not ready for...

No more sleeping in. Our bus comes waaaay too early at 6:17. Seriously, it's still dark part of the year at that time. Summer mornings are my friend. 

Less travel. This summer we've gone some fun places and the school schedule puts a damper on our adventures. 

Two girls entering middle school. That's scary. Girl drama in middle school is no joke and the thought of going through all that again makes me want summer to stay a little longer. 

Evenings filled with homework and sports practices. Need I say more? It's going to be hard to see the dinner hour shrink and all that busyness settle in again. 

And this...

My son is a senior. Freeze time and let's stay right here. I thought it would be easier to go through it the second time, but I'm already feeling sentimental at every sappy commercial and Facebook post. Finding an old photograph moves me to tears. It's not going to be any easier to let go of this guy than it was my oldest daughter.

Yes indeed, summer 2015 was an especially good one and I'm sad to see these loves of mine go back to school.

Congratulations, Dad!

Tonight I went to my dad's retirement party. It was fun to gather with my parents and their friends and celebrate. We're so happy and proud of him. It's a joy to see him enter this new chapter in life!

But just like most big transitions, impending retirement has its happy and sad parts. My dad described it as bittersweet. He said he's happy to be finished working, but it's a little disconcerting to think of the clock running down on your life. As his daughter, I refuse to entertain such thoughts all the while understanding exactly what he means. 

So Dad, let's talk here about only the happy things I imagine for your golden years!

I'm looking forward to getting to know you in a different way. I've always admired what a hard worker you are, but it will be nice to see you relaxing more often. 

I think it will be fun to see you and mom travel more and hope we can even travel places together. 

I'm happy you'll be able to pursue your hobbies at your leisure, instead of trying to fit them in during the evening or on the weekends. 

I'm looking forward to seeing my kids spend more time with you. I want them to enjoy more fishing. I want them to have more memories of swimming, playing tennis, and Christmas shopping with you. I want them to see you cheering them on at games and school events. 

I think you'll garden more and do house projects and spend time with the dog and be going so many places and doing so many things that you'll wonder how you ever had time for working!

May these years of retirement be blessed with people, activities and things that bring a smile to your face!

Goodbyes and Graduates

Eleven years ago, I walked into our local elementary school with my first and third graders. I had an almost two year old toddler and was pushing infant twins in a double stroller. We were quite an entourage to say the least! We were new to the school having recently moved and wondered what to expect. And honestly, after a whole summer at home I was a little shell shocked and ready for anyone to give me a break!

Yesterday, those little twins in the stroller graduated from fifth grade at that same elementary school and now my time there has come to a close. In a world where public education so often gets a bum rap, I want to say that this school gets it right. 

My kids received an excellent education there surrounded and supported by many loving teachers and staff. I will really miss it this August when I don't have any little ones to walk in on the first day. 

With elementary school ending, we say goodbye to so many rituals and rhythms that make up these childhood years. Class parties and seasonal crafts, room moms, bulletin boards, theme days, recess, and field trips. Late start times, short bus rides, dropping in for lunch, and watching class programs have come to an end. I know middle and high school bring their own advantages and perks, but elementary school is a sheltered special time in the life of a child. 

Fifth grade graduation has marked the beginning of a new era for each of my kids and we are excited to once again embrace what's ahead. These girls are ready for the increased independence and freedoms of middle school. They're looking forward to trying new clubs and new sports. They'll continue to grow and change immensely over the next several years, but I know they'll always hold a soft spot in their heart for Edmondson Elementary.

Time Out for Mom and Dad

Sitting under an umbrella in the sun relaxing by the beach. A get away just for two. Takes awhile to unwind and relax, but once we do...

It's weird to have no responsibilities. No pull of kids, outside obligations, housework or errands. 

Will we have anything to talk about? Who are we away from suburban mom and dad? Is it okay to pamper ourselves and take a time out? 

Get up to the room, take in the ocean view, hear the waves, and yes, we definitely start to feel more comfortable taking time away.

Real uninterrupted conversation, what a treat! Ordering off a menu with no regard to what anyone else will enjoy other than ourselves. Staying up late, sleeping in. Riding bikes with no agenda. A walk on the beach.

Reading a book, watching a movie. Laughing at pictures taken with a selfie stick.

Reconnecting. Making memories. Returning home refreshed. Ready to embrace the ones that call us Mom and Dad.

Valentine's Day Fantasies

When I was in high school, you could purchase carnations for a dollar and have them delivered with a message to anyone in school. There were white and pink, but of course the most coveted ones were red. In my Valentine's Day fantasies, I wished a secret admirer would send me a dozen red carnations. I felt like if I went to school and those were waiting for me, I'd really be loved! Flowers and gifts meant love to me back then.

Now love is spelled T-I-M-E. My husband asked what I wanted for Valentine's Day this year and my mind was blank. There's nothing he can buy in the store that will mean more than time. It's the thing that is most rare right now, so it's become the most valuable. 

When you're younger, you have lots of time and little money. Buying something for someone you love is a sacrifice.  

When you're older, you have money, but little time. Everyone and everything competes for your attention, so setting aside time becomes a greater sacrifice.

I think my husband would actually like it better if I could give him a list of things to buy. That's how hard it is to make time happen these days!

But just in case the stars align, here's a list of ten things I'd love for Valentine's Day:

Walking or bike riding around our favorite neighborhoods. 

Shopping in places other than Sam's Club together. 

Getting away anywhere alone together. 

Going to a romantic movie.

Dining in front of a fireplace.

Going to a quiet coffee shop. 

Taking a scenic drive. 

Watching a movie while cuddling under the electric blanket

Exploring a little town together. 

Getting take-out and spending an evening alone in our house. 

As you can see, shared experiences and uninterrupted conversation are way better than flowers in my book. Feel free to bring a little dark chocolate though! 

How about you? Has your Valentine's Day list changed over the years? 

Traveling Through the Teenage Years

Parenting teenagers can feel like winter. It's cold and barren on a lot of days, interspersed by glimpses of spring just around the corner.

Five years ago, I started watching Parenthood on NBC. I love a good drama and the family dynamics in this show sucked me in from the start. But what I really loved about it was the relationships they showed between teenagers and their parents.

Let me tell you, it's lonely being the parent of a teen. With younger kids, you're still free to share with other parents what's going on in your kids' lives. You can laugh about failures and prop each other up because for the most part, the stakes are small. You can joke that you'll never get your child potty trained or sleeping through the night because deep down you know that all kids learn those things eventually.

Elementary school problems are real, but they don't usually carry long term consequences. In middle school, the parental angst kicks up a notch just when the community of support for parents starts to nosedive. By the time your children are well into their teens, you're lucky to have one or two people you can really talk to and even then you have to be guarded to protect your kids' privacy. You don't have the network of other parents you used to have to bounce ideas off and you can start to feel like you're the only one whose kids are turning life as you knew it upside down. 

And it's not just the behavior of your teens that's a struggle. You will say, do, and feel things you never could have imagined when you brought that precious baby home from the hospital 15 or so years ago. Worrying about or arguing with a teenager will make you not even recognize yourself sometimes. And you won't feel comfortable sharing your parenting failures at this stage because the stakes are too high now. You don't know yet if everything really will turn out okay. 

That's what drew me to Parenthood. It felt good to see other teens push their parents away one minute and reach out the next. I could identify with moms worrying about their kids dating. It was a relief to see parents and teenagers argue and say some of the things I was dealing with in my own home. 

Did I agree with every storyline? No. But I felt the pain. I cheered the victories. I cried at the vulnerability and volatility of the the teenage years. And I had hope. I felt less alone. If someone could write those lines, then they must have experienced these things too. And maybe I can wake up and do it all over again just like they must have. 

Sometimes a TV show is more than entertainment. Sometimes it's therapy.

I'll miss you Parenthood. Thanks for being a sweet spot to rest on the journey of raising teenagers. I'm sure I'll be catching you in reruns because I've still got a lot of traveling left to do!

Sister Love

Watching my girls fight and claw their way through life one minute and then be best friends the next, makes me marvel at the sister relationship. As I was scolding my twins for incessant fighting yesterday, I told them many people would LOVE to have a twin. Then I said, I know I would! One of them immediately piped up, You do! Aunt Lisa! Haha, that struck me so funny! Even though we're five years apart, and had plenty of our share of fights growing up, they see my sister and I as "twins" today. How sweet and flattering!  

Here's a snippet of a conversation I recently overheard between my nephew and my girls:

Does your mom ever plop food down on your plate and let it touch the other food? 

Yes! There's a wide open space and she just sets the food down right on top of the other food. She doesn't even care!  She just mixes it all together and says it all ends up in the same place anyway!

Another time, my brother-in-law mentioned in joking frustration that my sister made a pan of dessert and then cut the very middle piece out for herself. He wondered, Who does something like that? My kids immediately said, My mom!! And it's true. If I've made a dessert for our family, I'm not above cutting out the best piece for myself. And sometimes hiding it to enjoy alone later! :)

Of course food quirks aren't the only thing that Lisa and I share. We're often told our laugh and voices sound the same. We share many mannerisms. On two separate occasions, friends of hers have run into me and later told her, I think I met your sister today. She looked and sounded just like you! 

Lisa is the closest thing I have to a twin for sure. But she's more than that. She's fun to be with, a loyal friend, and someone who's always there to listen. I can tell her most anything because she understands things from the same reference point and history that I do. Plus she's seen me at my craziest and still loves me! My sister is a treasure in my life and I hope all my girls will grow up to feel the same way about each other.

A Christmas Tradition

Christmas traditions are things people do every year that make it feel like Christmas to them!

One of the things our family does is decorate a whole lot of cookies. We don't go for fancy, but we do have fun! 

This year we made about 150 sugar cookies. Even with that many, I still have to bring them out slowly, so they'll last until Christmas Day.

I asked my photography-loving daughter to take pictures of the festivities.

We had someone new join us this year. Of course, she was more than happy to photograph him, too! 

We try not to eat too many cookies while we decorate. One year, we discovered the twins were licking the knives and dipping them back in the frosting. We didn't give those cookies to guests!

They're much more serious about their decorating now.

Some of the frosting and sprinkles can get pretty wild.

This guy usually comes up with a few combinations that surprise us!

It all works out in the end though and no cookie is left uneaten!

A delicious, special tradition that we look forward to every year!

Merry Christmas from our house to yours! May all your traditions bring you closer to the ones you love!

Fathers and Sons

When our children are babies and little people, we can't imagine them ever growing taller, faster, or stronger than us. We can't imagine that there will come a time when they'll best us in a game on their own merit and not because we've stacked the deck in their favor. But all too quickly it seems, they grow and change. 

I'm so excited to be guest posting on the Coach Daddy blog today. Because Eli's blog is a lot about fatherhood and sports, I thought it would be a good place to sort out my feelings on a phenomenon I've observed in our family this year. Please click here to read When Dad Loses to Son. 


Sports have always been a huge part of the relationship between my husband and our two sons. Some dads teach their kids to hunt and fish, some teach them about cars, Steve has taught our boys about sports. It's been fun for me to watch this evolve over the years, especially since I'm not a sporty person and still don't know the rules for many of them. I always enjoy cheering them on though!

For years, I remember Steve taking the kids out to play after dinner. Our oldest son used to grab his mitt and beg him to throw baseballs as high as he could to practice his catching. The two of them have practiced baseball, basketball, and lacrosse in our yard over and over. They've ran races, biked, and swam together.

Through the years, one constant remained. Dad could win! He might not always choose to win, but there was never a doubt that it was possible. He was faster, stronger, and more experienced. Not so anymore. Over the past few years, my seventeen year old has closed the gap and now surpasses his dad in speed, strength, agility, and stamina.

This feels weird. It's weird for both my husband and my son. My son still says Dad is bigger and stronger, even though it's obviously not true. I think it's just as hard for him to accept this strange turn of events as it is for his father.

I've asked my husband how he feels about this a few times and he says he still hasn't really admitted it to himself. I think watching our kids grow up and move past us reminds us of our own mortality and makes us face the fact that we're aging out of the world of youth we've been a part of so long. I think he wonders what happens now that the roles are reversed. Of course, they can still watch sports together, but the playing has changed. Does my son now have to hold back on his dad? Does he have to throw a few games to make his dad feel good?

My husband jokes that he might take up sports our son isn't good at like golf to keep it even a little longer. And at least he'll still be ahead of our younger son for a few more years!



To Be Better About Accepting the Imperfect

Every year, our family makes New Year's resolutions. It's neat to hear the goals my kids have and it's fun to see how successful they are in keeping them. This year we were away for New Year's Eve, so we did our resolutions around this restaurant table.

It's not easy to take a family selfie in a mirror!

Unfortunately, my mind was completely blank. I couldn't set one. I don't have any vices I'm willing to give up, and everything else I considered seemed too small and inconsequential. 

Then last night, I returned absolutely exhausted by vacation. Worn out emotionally from the pulls of the season and with a raging headache. Family vacation...not known for its restful effect on parents anyway, really wiped me out after all the hoopla of the holidays.

Oh, I'm glad we went. I'm glad we made memories and laughed and had fun together. I truly am! I'm also glad to be home again. And that's exactly the way family vacation goes. One minute it's great and the next minute it mocks you.

One day your husband is smiling and saying...

Let's get away for New Year's Eve this year. Let's go to New York City!

And the next he's proclaiming...

If I ever say let's do New York City the week of New Year's Eve, shoot me. Because I've clearly lost my mind and I'm crazy. 

In family vacation fantasies, everyone is smiling and family togetherness could not be any sweeter. In family vacation reality, at least one person is sulking at all times and you hear things like...

Stop touching me. Don't lean on me. Don't walk in front of me. Why is this taking so long?!? Eeewww, you're gross! 

And can I be really honest? Family vacation can have you feeling like the best mom one minute and the worst the next. It can make you feel like an awesome family one hour and a complete mess the next. 

Which leads me to my New Year's resolution to be better about accepting the imperfect. Perfect is not going to happen. It's an illusion. For every enjoyable moment, there will be frustrating moments you wish would go away. There will be laughter and tears, close talks and fervent arguments, smiles and glares. 

Our family vacations are never going to look like a Disney commercial no matter how many Instagram filters we slap on them. And I bet yours won't either. And that's okay. Because imperfect is not a fail. It's just real life lived out with real people that make it all really worth it!

What's your New Year's resolution this year?

A Birthday Wish for My Son

This week was my oldest son's seventeenth birthday. That seems unfathomable to me. I can remember the day he was born like yesterday.

I want to mark this special occasion on my blog, but what you're allowed to say as a mom about a boy that age in public is very limited. Gushing words declaring my undying love would not go over well, though of course my love for him knows no bounds. Sharing silly stories or personal conversations on here is off limits, though I savor our conversations and store them up like jewels. 

I imagine we're to a stage many a mother and son have passed through before. One where I admire who he is becoming and wait with anticipation to see what he will do next. Physically, he is almost full grown, though when I look at him I still sometimes see my little boy. Intellectually, he's changing and maturing. We can talk politics and current events and I marvel that this has happened in the blink of an eye. He has embraced the freedom driving has given him this year and takes on more responsibilities and commitments outside of our home now. 

And yet, there still exists a boisterous boy a little too willing to take risks. One who isn't done maturing and could easily find himself making decisions he might later regret. This is also something I'm sure many a mother has feared for her son. There is parenting left to do. Important work and I want to finish well.

I view my son with pride and love and nostalgia as I know that all too soon he will leave and make his own way in the world. I hope he will always come home and allow his father and I to share in his life. Allow us to have conversations and laughter with him, allow us the privilege of knowing and loving him as he becomes the man God made him to be. 

I think of all these things as I wish him Happy Birthday!

Family Pictures: Behind the Scenes

Long time, no see! My blog break has been nice, but I've missed you and hope you're all doing well!

One of the things we did over Thanksgiving break was have some long overdue family pictures taken. You know the ones...mom shops and obsesses over what everyone will wear, careful attention is paid to where each person is in the haircut cycle, and many warnings are given on avoiding bodily harm until after the pictures are finished.

If you decide to take family pictures, know that one or more of these things might happen...

1. Changing weather will make you pick and choose outfits more times than you want to admit. 

2. The thought of pictures will elicit a collective groan from every male in the family.

3. You will unwittingly schedule the session during a must see football game and your sons will beg you all week to change it.

4. Your college age daughter will text you that she dyed her hair the day before you told her about them. 

5.  You'll threaten, cajole, beg, bribe, and give your children "the look" all in an attempt to achieve the dream. 

6. After finishing pictures, your middle school son will have his shirt and sweater stripped off before you even leave the parking lot. 

7. In the end, you'll breathe a big sigh of relief and revel in the fact that for better or worse, the pictures are done and there's nothing left to do but wait and see how they turn out. 

Fortunately, our friend, Angie Helton, did a fantastic job and no retakes will be required.

Here are a few of my favorites...

There may or may not have been a little behind the scenes bribery to get my husband to pose for this picture! :)

Family pictures...they capture a moment, tell a story, and have the ability to transport us back to those special days. They can also drive us nuts and fill us with joy at the same time. Sounds a lot like the families they're meant to capture!

How about you? Is your family all on board and enthusiastic about pictures? Do you put them off as long as possible like I do? Time to confess what really goes on behind the camera! 

Changing Seasons

I don't know if it's this time of year with all the holiday busyness, or the natural ebb and flow of life's interests, but I haven't been as excited to write on this blog the past couple weeks as I used to be. The ideas and words aren't flowing. I think part of it is that I'm using my creative energy in other ways and I don't have as much left over for writing.

I don't want to just drop off the face of the blogosphere, so I wanted to let you know I'm going to take a break over the holidays from my usual posting schedule. I may post once a week or once a month as the mood strikes. If you don't want to miss anything, I'd love for you to follow me by email or on Bloglovin. You'll find both of these options to the right on my sidebar.

Thank you to all my regular readers. I really appreciate your support and look forward to be being back with more Normal Everyday Life soon!

Trick or Treat Through Time

Throwback Thursday...

A look at my five favorite Halloween pictures through the years...ta-da!

Whether you choose to go as a ladybug or a pumpkin, Elvis or Barney...whether you're riding the high seas with the Pirates or out in space with the Teletubbies...

Happy Halloween to you...

Boo!

A Letter To My Daughter

Dearest Daughter,

This weekend you asked me quite the question: Are younger or older children more fun? 

It reminded me of when Laura Ingalls in Little House In the Big Woods wonders if Pa likes brown or golden hair best. 

Such a question. Both are wonderful, both fill this mother's heart with love and it's impossible to say. What I can say is what's fun about you, at age 18 in your first semester of college. 

I love that you call me and want to spend time together. 

I like that we have deeper conversations and share meaningful things at this stage. 

It's a bit of a relief that you make more of your own decisions now. I can relax and breathe knowing you've got this!

It's awesome that you're learning new things and teaching us a thing or two. 

It's fun that we share a similar sense of humor and can laugh and joke together. 

It's exhilarating to follow you into a store for younger people and buy a pair of jeans that are hip!

It touches me that you're becoming a friend and mentor to your siblings.

It makes me happy to see you following God. I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

I delight in seeing who you're becoming, hearing about how you enjoy your major, and discovering more about who you are. 

You see my girl, the answer to your question isn't a simple one. Children of all ages are fun. But you...I love you just the way you are right now, and the way you were yesterday, and the way you'll be tomorrow. Because I love you, at any age.