Traveling Through the Teenage Years

Parenting teenagers can feel like winter. It's cold and barren on a lot of days, interspersed by glimpses of spring just around the corner.


Five years ago, I started watching Parenthood on NBC. I love a good drama and the family dynamics in this show sucked me in from the start. But what I really loved about it was the relationships they showed between teenagers and their parents.

Let me tell you, it's lonely being the parent of a teen. With younger kids, you're still free to share with other parents what's going on in your kids' lives. You can laugh about failures and prop each other up because for the most part, the stakes are small. You can joke that you'll never get your child potty trained or sleeping through the night because deep down you know that all kids learn those things eventually.

Elementary school problems are real, but they don't usually carry long term consequences. In middle school, the parental angst kicks up a notch just when the community of support for parents starts to nosedive. By the time your children are well into their teens, you're lucky to have one or two people you can really talk to and even then you have to be guarded to protect your kids' privacy. You don't have the network of other parents you used to have to bounce ideas off and you can start to feel like you're the only one whose kids are turning life as you knew it upside down. 

And it's not just the behavior of your teens that's a struggle. You will say, do, and feel things you never could have imagined when you brought that precious baby home from the hospital 15 or so years ago. Worrying about or arguing with a teenager will make you not even recognize yourself sometimes. And you won't feel comfortable sharing your parenting failures at this stage because the stakes are too high now. You don't know yet if everything really will turn out okay. 

That's what drew me to Parenthood. It felt good to see other teens push their parents away one minute and reach out the next. I could identify with moms worrying about their kids dating. It was a relief to see parents and teenagers argue and say some of the things I was dealing with in my own home. 

Did I agree with every storyline? No. But I felt the pain. I cheered the victories. I cried at the vulnerability and volatility of the the teenage years. And I had hope. I felt less alone. If someone could write those lines, then they must have experienced these things too. And maybe I can wake up and do it all over again just like they must have. 

Sometimes a TV show is more than entertainment. Sometimes it's therapy.


I'll miss you Parenthood. Thanks for being a sweet spot to rest on the journey of raising teenagers. I'm sure I'll be catching you in reruns because I've still got a lot of traveling left to do!



28 comments:

  1. Oh no I'm worried. My oldest is 13, but I can see and feel it already in the air. I am terrified for some of the personalities of the youngers to hit teenagehood as well. As littles they are challenging enough! So I think I should start watching Parenthood and make sure you and I stay connected so I have a lifeline during those tough years!

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    1. You're getting closer and closer to the dark side, Jennifer! The teen years beckon! :)

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  2. I've never seen Parenthood, and I think I missed out! How come nobody ever told us how hard the teen years are? You are obviously doing a great job, because your teenagers seem awesome!

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    1. Haha, thanks Lana! It's always so comforting to know that others have struggled, too. When I hear a mom share a real story, I want to grab her and tell her thank you from the bottom of my heart! :)

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  3. I've never seen Parenthood but I'm sure I'd love it! Maybe it's just as well we didn't realise how hard parenting teens was going to be before it happened and I'm guessing that you'll be so much wiser to their antics by the time your twin daughters turn 13.

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    1. I've thought of that many times, Izzie! Having two teenagers the exact same age will be a new challenge!

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  4. I've actually never really thought through what parenthood might look like as a parent of teens (or maybe I am just blindly hoping for the best!). Reading this makes it very real though and you've really put in context how parenting is going to change and how the community of mums will kind of melt away. Sometimes you really have to give it to the people who devise some of the reality TV out there though - it definitely helps to make you feel more 'normal' at times (whatever that looks like!). Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout this week Marie :-)

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    1. Thanks, Samantha! I think you're right. Everyone wants to feel normal, both the teens and their parents! :)

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  5. Yes Yes Yes!!!! Mom of a 17 and 12 y/o..... Been there and done that. Oh how true those words are that your support system falls away from you as you delve deep into High School and what classes your kids are taking and what scores they are receiving. Who flipping knew how aghast one would feel and how lonely the journey would be. I am much better prepared for it the second time around. That first time sucked!!!! I am here to say that it all worked out in the end, and guess what she is leaving for college...

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    1. Glad you can relate! It's so wonderful to hear that other people have felt this way, too!

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  6. I am so so not ready to be the parent of a teen! My hubby and I both work with teenagers and we are bracing for the worst! :-) Our hope and prayer is that the things we are putting into place now will serve as a foundation for later on! Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey!
    Cathy@ three kids and a fish

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    1. I'm sure you guys will be more prepared having worked with teens before your children are that age. So much wisdom comes from experience! It's a difficult time in many ways, but as you know, teens are a lot of fun to be around too!

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  7. Marie, oh my goodness my favorite show was Parenthood - such truth and I miss it like crazy! I have two teen boys - right in the thick of it. Thanks for opening up the dialogue through the Tuesday Talk linkup. Have a great day! Kim Stewart
    kimstewartinspired.com

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    1. Glad you can relate, Kim! I'm going to miss it, too!!

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  8. I've not watched this show (not sure it is on in the UK) but Girls had a similar effect on me. You wanted to shout at the screen 'You are clever, sassy, beautiful girls! Enjoy your life!' #sharewithme

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    1. I love to watch shows that touch my emotions and make me want to come back every week!

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  9. Sounds like my kind of show. I love usa drama like this. I am so scared to have teenagers ever. Luckily I have a few years to be scared before it happens hahaha. I love Brothers and Sisters show it was so much like my own family it was unreal. I wish it was still on. Great post hunny I will be coming to you for teenage advice.. lol Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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    1. Haha, Jenny! I would imagine that watching USA drama would be like a little slice of home for you!

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  10. Teen years put a lump in my throat. I was a horrible teen. I hope my kids aren't quite as obnoxious.

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    1. That's funny, April! I think most of us don't want our teens to act like we did! :)

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  11. Hi Marie,
    I have all this to come, my boy is 9 now and I love the support from all the other mums and friends at school. I can see how it just disappears though as when the kids go to high school they hop on a bus and us mums don't get to stand chatting on the school playground anymore. Great post and lovely to come over to your blog. Tor x

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    1. Thank you! Other mothers are such a rich source of information. It's too bad we don't get to talk to as many during this stage!

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  12. I never watched Parenthood but I'm hearing so many great things about it.

    I worry about parenting a teen. I've got years to go before then but still... some anxiety exists because I can only imagine how lonely it can be.

    Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

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    1. Thanks, Jennifer! The teen years have their down side, but overall it's really neat to see your kids growing and developing!

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  13. I never caught Parenthood but I'll be checking it out for reruns on Amazon Prime - all those years are still ahead of me and sounds like I'll need all the support I can get! Seriously though, lovely post, sometimes tv shows that reflect the reality of life as we're living it can be such solace.

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    1. You're right, Michelle! Sometimes TV writers really do get it right!

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  14. I've heard so many things about Parenthood! I need to watch it! Thanks for linking up for Tuesday Talk with us :)

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Thanks for taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you!